(originally aired April 13, 1997)
I gotta tell you, I’m not quite sure where to start with this one. There were so many elements to it that confused me or just didn’t work… so I guess I’ll take it from the top. Shenanigans begin when Bart gets his hands on a credit card under his dog’s name (I do like how Santa’s Little Helper becomes Santos L. Halper), and goes on a spending spree. Amongst the extravagant items he buys is a pure bred collie named Laddie, who is basically the most perfect of perfect dogs. It isn’t long before all of Bart’s purchases are repossessed, and in a knee-jerk decision Bart has SLH taken in Laddie’s place, and it’s not long before he has great remorse about this decision. Now, the rest of the family is basically in the dark about most of this… for reasons that escape me. Bart gives the others lavish gifts and has a room full of expensive junk and nobody says anything? He also claims he got Laddie at a church carnival two towns over at a “truth-telling contest.” Yeah, it’s supposed to be a joke, but really, I feel like even Homer would see through this. There’s so many points in this episode I feel like Marge or even Homer would say something about what’s happening, but everyone just kind of goes along with it. It didn’t make a lot of sense to me.
This is an episode that kind of needs to hinge on Bart’s relationship with Santa’s Little Helper… except it doesn’t really show it. In the first act we see the dog clumsily knock into the front door and stare into the window for hours on end, but not much affection for the poor mutt. There’s one scene where Bart hugs the dog after receiving the phony credit card, but it’s not really something that’s genuine, he’s just glad using the dog as a pawn in his scheme worked. He ignores SLH when Laddie comes into the picture, and then later feels bad when he gives him away, which all could of worked if we had more build-up showing the love for his dog. Of course we know that he does, as we’ve seen in “Bart vs. Thanksgiving” and “Dog of Death,” but thinking back to those shows only makes this one feel more ramshackle. Toward the end, we find that a blind man now owns SLH and Bart must get him back. This is a tough pill to swallow even knowing how much those two love each other, but in this episode, it’s even worse given that I don’t even buy Bart loves the dog. I’d rather he stay with the poor blind man.
This episode marks a first, a hundred seventy three shows in, this is the first one I felt like turning off. After getting Lisa’s blessing for robbing the blind man (what?!), his sneaking in is so tedious, we get cloying out-of-character Bart pleading with the man and a hackneyed bit where they let the dog decide ownership (what is this, Air Bud?). Not even the marijuana twist at the end can save it. The show just felt incredibly thin; nothing important really happens in the second act at all, it’s just filling time before Bart decides to get SLH back. Now there are a few good jokes and amusing parts, but a lot of it felt pretty dead to me. It set up a situation where Bart’s antics and behavior went too far, and I found myself rooting against him. Even at his lowest pathetic point, I didn’t think he deserved the dog back. It’s just a really scatterbrained episode that misses most of its marks.
Tidbits and Quotes
– I guess it’s good satire that even Bart’s phony application is good enough for “MoneyBank” to get him a card; I like how he lists his income (“Whatever I finds, I keeps.”)
– Bart finds he can’t get away using his card at local vendors, ie: Comic Book Guy (“Your phony credit card is no good here. Now make like my pants, and split!”)
– I like Bart’s pachinko machine (“You winner! Ha ha ha!”) and Lisa’s ticked reaction to her new pep pills (Trucker’s Choice).
– I love the condescending but cheerful speech the creditor gives Bart on the phone (“Because you sound like a mature, responsible person, who wouldn’t want an unpaid credit card bill to spoil all his hopes and dreams for the future. Dreams such as home ownership, boat ownership and event- attendance!”) Bart decides enough is enough and has Laddie bury the credit card. Fat Tony and his goons bury a body alongside him (“We didn’t see nothin’ if you didn’t see nothin’!”)
– Mr. Burns likes Laddie? What happened to, “Dogs are idiots!” Then again he did take a shine to one of SLH’s puppies. But then again he wanted to skin the rest of them.
– Milhouse indignantly recalls a SLH incident (“Remember the time he ate my goldfish, and you lied to me and said I never had any goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?”) Bart responds, “Yeah, he was a great dog.”
– Bart’s dog furnace fantasy is a bit slow and boring, but saved by Bart looking out the window musing, “Where are yah, boy?” followed by a distant boat horn noise.
– Classic Homer line: “You gave both dogs away?! You know how I feel about giving!” I also kind of like his pep talk speech to Bart, which he hopes will end in his son eating dog food.
– Best gag in the episode is probably Moe’s repossessed floor; we see the Repo Depot is not a large building, then all of a sudden we see it propped against the wall (“Hey, next time, pay your bills.” “But I don’t want to!”)
– Always liked the red bow tie on Polly’s neck. You’d think it would have rotted much quicker than its body. Or maybe Mr. Mitchell’s been fitting the tie on the skeleton for a long while now.
– I was so numbed by the third act, the marijuana bit didn’t even faze me, though I do love Mr. Mitchell’s excuse (“Without it, I could go even… blinder!”) Hank Azaria ad-libbing with himself as Wiggum and Lou over “Jamming” over the credits is pretty amusing too, with one last “Jamming!” over the Gracie Films logo.