(originally aired September 28, 1997)
This episode is a little bit controversial. And by ‘little bit,’ I mean it’s the most controversial of the entire series. Similar to “Homer’s Enemy,” people often cite this one when talking about the death of the show, how this episode spat in the faces of the fans by disrupting the established canon. I can’t say that I share the vehement hate, but I do have my fair share of issues with this episode. There’s a lot to talk about with this one, so let’s blow through the story first: Springfield is shocked at the arrival of a Sgt. Seymour Skinner, who our Skinner reveals to be the genuine article. Turns out he’s really Armin Tamzarian, a Capitol City street punk who was sent to the army, befriended and built a deep report with the sergeant, then upon visiting Springfield to tell Skinner’s mother of his apparent death, assumed his identity for his mother’s sake. With the real Skinner back, Tamzarian realizes he needs to stop pretending and moves back to the city. But Agnes, Edna and the others find they’d rather have the old Skinner, but coming up with a solution to this issue won’t be so easy. Or they could just tie Sgt. Skinner to the flatbed of a train and send him out of town. Easy enough.
Let’s unravel this story step by step. On the whole, I don’t have an issue with Skinner being an “imposter,” and I don’t think it ruined his character. It made him a little bit richer, actually. Being under the wing of Sgt. Skinner showed him the errors of his past, and in the future as principal he would push strict obedience so kids wouldn’t end up like he did. And as an orphan with no real life back home, I kind of get why he would want to stay in Springfield as Skinner, to preserve the legacy of a man he felt so highly of. Kind of. Now… for what doesn’t make sense. Let’s just say that Agnes is the only living family member Skinner had. Springfield is a multi-generational town, people stick around there; so you’re telling me there’s nobody there that knew Skinner prior to being shipped out who ran into Tamzarian as Skinner and questioned this? Does Skinner sign leases and contracts as Skinner or Tamzarian? What about when he re-enlisted in the army? They must not have taken too kindly for the shenanigans. I’m willing to go half-way with a few of these points, but there’s just so many dangling issues involving a back story twist this major. Ultimately, it’s kind of a hard pill to swallow.
There’s also the issue with the real Skinner, in that we don’t really get to know him all that well. Again, I can sort of understand what they’re going for in the third act. We see the real Skinner in action, and he’s just out of touch enough with the rest of the characters that they’d feel uneasy about him and want the old Skinner back. But what did he do so wrong? As a man who was a POW for decades, he took mild offense to Bart’s warped version of the pledge. And he borrows his mother’s car. We gotta get this guy the fuck out of here; I guess that’s the point, that the characters are quick to act to get rid of this mild shake-up in their daily lives. The whole story is just so bloated and large that the final act feels so rushed and rash. We’re not sure what to make of Sgt. Skinner, he’s certainly not a bad guy, but he’s not all that nice either. When he gets ridden out at the very end, you feel kind of bad for him; with someone like Frank Grimes everything was building to that point and it fit with the running theme, here I’m not 100% clear on what’s being accomplished.
Any fan who hasn’t listened to the commentary for this episode should give it a listen. Writer Ken Keeler gives a vehement defense to it, in response to vicious Internet dwellers who wanted his head after its original airing. He talks about how the point of the episode may have ultimately ended up a little unclear, but it’s supposed to be a meta episode involving a shift in the status quo and the characters responding by sweeping the problem under the rug and pretending it never happened. Now I can’t besmirch Keeler; the man’s written some of the best episodes of Futurama, so he’s pretty skilled with a pen. But I will say if the aim here was to make a meta episode, they certainly kept it to themselves. Everything in the episode is handled so seriously, with dramatic music cues and scenes of serious dialogue. There’s no real wink to the audience; call back to “Poochie” where Roy shows up to spice up the show, but there’s nothing like that here. All in all, it’s a very bizarre episode that greatly misses its intended mark, but not quite the horribly offensive disaster many make it out to be. Skinner’s backstory may be a bit muddled, but I’d say “Hurricane Neddy” was much more damaging to Flanders than this is to Skinner. A somewhat interesting episode with a few laughs, but definitely bit off more than it could possibly chew in twenty-two minutes.
Tidbits and Quotes
– Nice opening with Skinner and his anal-retentive inspection of the school hallways. Chalmers is quite off-put (“Good lord! The rod up that man’s butt must have a rod up its butt!”)
– It’s kind of sweet at the beginning how Agnes berates Skinner into taking her out (“I’m sick of this house, and I’m sick of you!”) as a ruse to get him to his surprise party. Nice to see deep down she cares about her son. Speaking of, a whole other essay could be written on the degree in which she knew if Seymour was her son or not. It’s all a big tangled web.
– Lisa and Ralph tag team speaking of Skinner’s life and achievements. Ralph brings it home (“When I grow up, I want to be a principal, or a caterpillar. I love you, Principal Skinner!”)
– Narrating his flashback, Tamzarian speaks of how in his lowlife punk days it was only a matter of time before he ended up in front of a judge. Then young Armin plows his motorcycle into one. “They gave me a choice. Jail, the army, or apologizing to the judge and the old lady. Of course, if I had known there was a war going on, I probably would’ve apologized.”
– I like after Agnes’ dramatic proclamation “I have no son!”, Homer glibly responds, “Look, lady, obviously you have at least one son.”
– Tamzarian announces he’s giving up his position. Chalmers asks the real Skinner if he’s qualified to take over (“It’s been my lifelong ambition. And if a man pretending to be me can do it, well, then, logically, the real me must be far more qualified.” “Good enough.”)
– There’s a nice moment when Tamzarian leaves; he gives Skinner back his pocket watch, noting that his mother’s picture is inside and to take care of her. Skinner responds, “I’ll wind her every day.” I feel like this is a telling line about his character, but I’m not entirely sure if I should take it positively or negatively.
– Like the intro of the third act where the news crew continually irritate Brockman, first using the incorrect Skinner picture, then inserting the right one upside-down (“Idiots!”)
– Skinner is welcomed back to his home town with open arms, and he is quite pleased (“I must say, in many ways, Springfield really beats the old slave labor camp.”)
– Nice scene with Tamzarian reading off his script as flatly as possible attempting to bring people into Topless Nudes (“Capital City’s nakedest ladies. They’re not even wearing a smile. Nod suggestively.”)
– The ending is pretty crazy… first Homer spells out the point (“So he’s a fraud. I don’t care! His mom doesn’t care! Do any of you care?”) I guess addressing the audience. But we kinda do care. Then Skinner shows up and demands he be treated with some respect. Then they tie him down and ride him out of town. It’s just… I dunno, it doesn’t feel right. Though I do like Judge Snyder’s decree at the end (“And I further decree that everything will be just like it was before all this happened! And no one will ever mention it again… under penalty of torture.”) And Skinner’s claim that he’s going to loosen up a bit, but the town has just made it clear that they must keep the status quo, so that ain’t happening (“From now on, you’re going to see a new Seymour Skinner!” “Oh no we won’t!” “…yes, mother.”)