313. Moe Baby Blues

(originally aired May 18, 2003)
Simpsons apologists have about four or five episodes at the ready to defend the sorry state of the last decade of shows, and this is one of them: an genuine, emotionally driven story focused on our favorite gargoyle-ish bartender. And yeah, there are parts of it that are definitely very sweet, and it’s probably the most solid, enjoyable episode of the season. But when people start throwing stuff around like “as good as the classic era,” I have to call bullshit, because there’s also a lot in this episode that feels too exaggerated within this simple, emotional story. We start with the entire town flocking to the botanical gardens for the blooming of the Sumatran Century Flower, which as namesake suggests, opens once a century. The only one not there is Moe, and when he does arrive, he’s kicked out as the garden is one over capacity. I get Moe is a lonely guy, and he has crippling emotional issues, but this opening just paints him as way too sad. Moe may be bitter and despondent, but like many of the characters, seemed reasonably content with his lot in life, even if it was just providing intoxicants to other despondent losers. But now he’s just this super pathetic guy who is so desperate for human contact, he lets Chief Wiggum push him down a muddy hill.

Nothing left for Moe than to commit suicide, I guess. This would eventually become one of his character quirks, because suicide is hilarious! Just as he’s about to jump off a bridge, Maggie comes falling down into his arms, having been flung from the Simpson car due to Homer being a shitty, inattentive driver. Moe is smitten with the little tyke, and eventually falls into the role as Maggie’s babysitter. The scenes between these two are absolutely adorable, with Moe still retaining his personality (“It’s so nice to be with someone who can’t understand the horrible things I say.”) The highlight of course is when Moe’s story time where he regales the story of The Godfather using dolls, much to Maggie’s enjoyment. It’s not long before Homer and Marge start getting annoyed by how involved and overprotective Moe becomes of Maggie; the scene at the party really works showing how despite Moe being a bit overbearing, Maggie still seems to have a stronger bond with him than her actual parents. But then they push things too far into a creepy realm by showing Moe has his own baby monitor and video camera in Maggie’s room, the final straw for Homer, who tells Moe he’s not allowed to see her again.

The story is all about Moe, but as the show goes on, you start to think maybe it’ll turn where Homer, and maybe even Marge, need to step up their parenting game when Maggie starts to take a shining more to him than them. There’s one scene where Homer realizes this, and needs to be a better father-figure to her, but that’s basically completely dropped after that. The ending involves Maggie following the mob in the middle of the night, after seeing Fat Tony imitate Don Corleone as Moe did to her. It ends up in a mafia standoff at Luigi’s, and Moe has to risk his life to rescue Maggie. Normally I complain about episodes focused on secondary characters that have the Simpsons shoehorned in, but in this case, I feel they weren’t incorporated in the story enough. I’m fine with the ending as is, and I like how it tied into Moe’s Godfather story (not entirely sure why the mob hangs out outside the Simpson house though), but I feel it would have been more emotionally satisfying if it involved Homer and Marge more, trying to win their daughter back. But I don’t want to step all over this episode, it’s definitely really sweet, has lots of funny moments, and is ultimately pretty satisfying. A real gem in a shit season.

Tidbits and Quotes
– More awkward and weird Homer dialogue (“Every time you say pick a number from one to ten, it’s always seven.” “That’s because there were seven apostles.” “No, there were twelve.” “Boy, that’s a big staff, and still he wasn’t that funny.”) Also you could see the Venus Fly trap gag coming from a mile away.
– I’m quite partial to the Beverly Hillbillies Go Down Under (“Hey Granny, I’m gonna be a professional didgeridoo player!” “Now it’s a didgeri-don’t!”)
– I really didn’t like how Homer basically almost caused the death of his infant daughter. He slams the gas in the middle of a traffic jam, then must jam the brakes and ends up smashing in the back of someone. Maggie’s safety harness breaks and she ends up flying through the sunroof. If it weren’t for Moe, she’d be dead, and Homer would have been responsible. How horrible would that have been? Actually, I’m morbidly curious what that show would have been now. Maybe Marge was the one who bought the shitty safety lock and both parents blame themselves for the incident. Hmm.
– More neutered Burns, as we see Homer is in his “carpool.”
– The sweetest moment of the show is when Moe gives Maggie back her nose (“There yah go, yah little idiot.”) Funny, heartwarming and in-character all at the same time; just because the episode as a whole isn’t classic-worthy doesn’t mean there aren’t excellent moments in it.
– I love Moe misinterpreting the woman trying to pick him up because of Maggie (“Aww, what a face! She looks just like you!” “You calling her repellant? ‘Cause you ain’t exactly Karen Allen yourself!”) He goes from zero to sixty in a second, cracking his knuckles like he’s about to punch this poor woman out on the spot. Also great is the bumper car scene where Moe smashes Nelson’s vehicle with a crowbar, much to Maggie’s amusement. Amazing.
– Moe retells The Godfather, and we take a look at a classic scene (“I think we can scare that movie producer by putting a horse’s blanket in his bed. Imagine waking up and seeing you’ve got the wrong kind of a blanket?” “How about a horse’s head?” “Aww, you see here, that’s why you’re the Godfather!”)
– I really like the birthday party scene, it walks the line perfectly of Moe being sweet and somewhat overbearing, right before it falls into creepy territory in the scene following it. Him fixing her bow (“I know it don’t seem like it matters, but she hates looking like crap,”) yelling at one of Apu’s children playing next to her (“Sure he was, Nahasa-pasa-I’m-raising-a-pervert,”) and his gift to Maggie: a Moe’s Tavern playset, with classic drunk Barney! And the figures talk too (“I peed my pants!” “I recorded that for private use!”)
– It is rather disturbing when Homer, Marge and the police stake out Moe’s thinking he kidnapped Maggie, and it looking like he’s thrown her in the oven. But of course, it’s just a ham.
– I like Don Castellaneta (three guesses who he’s named after); when Fat Tony and his associates all spill wine on themselves at the same time and go to the restroom, he comments, “Those boys should really consider sippy cups.” Also, great bit where the President of the Italian-American Anti-Defamation League is present in the restaurant… who then proceeds to take out two guns himself (“This really burns my cannoli!”)
– I want to see a Moe and Maggie spin-off. I don’t know what it would be about; maybe they could solve mysteries, with Maggie as the brains and Moe the brawn.

Season 14 Final Thoughts
There may be a point where I forgo giving my final thoughts per season, and that point may be right now. This season is really no different than the last, and I feel the show is going to stay at this plateau of quality for a while now, and the only direction to go is down. The series is in such a sorry place, with all of the issues and problems of the past just getting more and more flagrant, and any sincerity or realism that the show once possessed has been almost completely obliterated. Dead Homers coined the term “Zombie Simpsons,” and it really couldn’t be more apt; the show is lifeless and sterile, an empty shell vaguely resembling the actual soul that actually once resided in it. Harsh words, yes, but I really don’t even know how better to describe it. Perhaps the biggest indictment of all is that a lot of these episodes just barely even registered with me. I considered putting a couple on the “worst” list, but then realized that I didn’t even give a shit about them. Scully episodes will piss me off, but Jean episodes are just so innocuous. The show’s deader than dead, and I still have six more seasons to go. I do it only out of obligation now; I can’t have come this far to stop now.

The Best
“The Dad Who Knew Too Little,” “Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington,” “Moe Baby Blues”

The Worst
“How I Spent My Strummer Vacation,” “Helter Shelter,” “The Great Louse Detective,” “Three Gays of the Condo,” “Brake My Wife, Please”


20 responses to “313. Moe Baby Blues

  1. This episode is all right, but by the time I made it to this episode, I was so exhausted I could care less. It has its moments, but with the remainder of the season, it was not good enough to get me to keep my BD of Season 14.

    The season itself was utter garbage, but it did not have any episodes as insulting as “The Frying Game” from thirteen. Next season is not all that great either, but it does have three great episodes and two decent ones, so I am definitely interested in reading your thoughts on “Catch Em If You Can” and “Simple Simpson.”

    I can understand how you must be feeling at this point though. I never realized how crappy Simpsons really got until I spent this summer rewatching every episode from start to current. I guess I was so used to watching it every Sunday (and I’ll continue to do so until it ends) and then never getting to see the episode again until it is on DVD/BD that I never realized it until now. Nevertheless, bring on Season 15!!!

  2. I never saw what was so great about this one. Just because there are some decent moments doesn’t mean there aren’t some bad ones which cancel them out. And I really don’t like how they made Moe into a suicidal mess. It’s not really something -inherently- funny, so unless you don’t have the chops for it, it’s hard to make jokes out of it. Ditto for creepy stalker Moe, seen in the second act.

    There’s nothing wrong with adding dimensions to Moe’s character that are more than just being surly/insensitive and performing illegal operations in the backroom, but it has to be done right. I think “Dumbbell Indemnity” and, strangely enough, “The Love-Matic Grampa”, did it right.

    I will say that Lauren MacMullan did a great directing job on this one, though. And yes, the Anti-Defamation joke is pretty funny.

  3. I’d have to rewatch this one again, but at the time I recall it breaking my Simpsons spirit. Maybe it’s the fact that it really solidified Moe as a pathetic loser instead of a surly bartender, but something felt off to me.I’d still defend the show for a few more seasons, but this was around when I started to at least understand why people felt the show wasn’t as good as it used to be.

    Season 14 was incredibly bland, but 15 is a little better. There’s no great ones but a few decent ones.

  4. I thought season 15 was worse than 14. The only stand-out episodes to me were “‘Tis the 15th Season” and “Diatribe of a Mad Housewife”.

  5. There actually was a Moe/Maggie spin-off in the comics. And it’s exactly how you described it.

  6. I’m still interested in reading your season wrap ups at least through the next one. I remember 15 to be a slight step up in quality, although it’s been a long time since I’ve seen those episodes and may have some rose-colored glasses on. I used to consider 14 to be my least favorite season, but 21-23 (minus a handful of episodes) make it seem okay in comparison.

  7. forbidden donut

    Yeah, the first act is kind of weak and forced, but the rest of the episode is really charming and feel-good. Lauren Mcmullen is pretty incredible.
    I’m one of the fans who’s considered seasons 13-15 the “best” of the Zombie Simpsons seasons, yet reading through these recaps have reminded me how poor even these seasons are. What strikes me is that many of these early Jean-era episodes actually have a great, promising idea at its center. Flanders being tempted by a more uninhibited woman, the town flip-flopping on light pollution, Marge dealing with agoraphobia, Homer discovering an old note from Marge after a bad date, Bob helping Homer find a killer, are all really solid premises for episodes (whereas in later Jean episodes, we’d just get “Homer becomes an opera singer” and “Marge becomes a carpenter and faces discrimination for some reason”). Yet, the execution is weak, and these stories are continuously ruined by poor writing. These seasons are ultimately just frustrating.

  8. I don’t mind a lot of Season 15 and 16. Best of the Zombie seasons. (Unless you’re counting 9 and 10). 17 onwards is just one big blandfest though.

  9. Act II does feature some really funny stuff, but Acts I and III are pretty lame. And this episode solidifies Moe’s status as a lonely suicidal wreck, which has never made me laugh, ever. I wouldn’t really call this a latter-day classic like some fans do, but it’s definitely got its occasional shining moments. And I do really like Lauren MacMullan’s direction, as I’ve mentioned numerous times before.

    One thing that sort of drags this episode down a bit is just how creepy Moe starts to get after a while. There’s this really disturbing child-snatcher vibe running through the latter half of the episode. And there’s a really uncomfortable joke at the end where Marge says “Sorry for thinking you were a baby-napper,” and Homer adds “Or worse! Am I right?” Sorry, but pedophilia jokes just don’t work on The Simpsons.

  10. Do they? Meh

  11. Troy McClure and Lionel Hutz show up as part of a crowd in this one, IIRC.

    • I was just about to mention that. Watching the first crowd scene and there was Troy McClure. It worries me that they could return in some way one day as they clearly haven’t been retired šŸ˜¦

  12. I always thought this was one was a lot more watchable and charming than most of the crap that surrounded it… the Godfather retelling is pretty classic, I always like “then he closes the door on Annie Hall”… for some reason, that always stuck with me, maybe because I’m a Diane Keaton fan (and Annie Hall is one of my favorite movies)… ever seen this?:


  13. The Simpsons comics actually did have a Moe and Maggie spinoff, last for a few short stories.

  14. yeah maybe this episode got some good emotions in it, but solidified Moe as a lonley sad man, and its overall pretty boring. plus there are horrible scene like Wiggum pointing and kicking Moe out of the gardens becuase everybody knows hes a sad useless man, or Marge saying that italian mobesters are always outside their house

  15. This is certainly one of the best Zombie-era Simpsons episodes, but to say it’s in par with the classics has to be trolling. I’d say it’s probably better than certain season 8 or 9 episodes, but that’s as far as I’ll go. This doesn’t touch anything earlier than that.

    Also, the fact that Zombie-apologists can point to one episode out of roughly 400 as comparable in quality to the first 200 just proves how far this show has fallen.

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